We spend more time with our office mates than our families sometimes, and just like family little annoyances quickly stack up to large grievances if left unchecked. If your co-workers are irksome, employ some easy tactics to diffuse the situation.

Take Care of Yourself

If I don’t eat on a regular schedule, I turn into a beast. Often the anger emerges before I even feel hungry. During one particularly stressful string of event planning, I stayed busy all day making phone calls and packaging peripherals for the attendees. Around four that afternoon, I finally surfaced from my hyper-focused state when my co-worker began twisting in her chair and making a repetitive creaking noise.

She must have made this sound a thousand times before, but on this day the creaks sent me over the edge and I called out for her to calm down. As soon as the words escaped my mouth, I knew I needed to eat. Fortunately, all it took to mend my error was a quick explanation of my hunger and we took a trip to the breakroom together. Don’t take your hunger, headache, wild night, or illness out on a co-worker. Keep yourself well-fed, well-rested, and well-hydrated. Healthy relationships start with healthy bodies.

Talk About It

If a habit still annoys you, take it to the source. Exercise sympathy and understanding. Respect the tenor of your relationship to that moment so far. If someone’s perfume is a bother, but you only have an acquaintance-level of interaction telling her that the rosewater is suffocating might be a bit much. Instead, opt for a civilized discussion about how, though lovely, heavy scents give you headaches or sneezes.

Honesty is the best and only policy if you expect changes to happen. Stewing in your own juices hurts productivity. Often co-workers don’t know how they are impacting you, give them the benefit of the doubt and talk about it.

Mediation

I worked with a girl who hated me. For some reason everything I did rubbed her the wrong way. Her dislike for me meant she talked about me behind my back to clients and impacted my work by refusing to collaborate.

I could have spent time planting land mines for her step in, luring the boss over to catch her on a social network or witness her snark. Instead I requested time with my boss to discuss our working relationship.

I approached the meeting without accusing her of wrongdoing. I only highlighted where our communication breakdowns were and did not embarrass her with the messier details.

We both left the meeting on level ground, and whenever things got out of hand or I felt her ire rising I would bring up the conversation. From that baseline, we always managed to find a way to work together.

Ultimately, we developed a working friendship, and I discovered she was not happy with her career path. She regretted not pursuing her original career choice of dental hygiene. I helped her research a good dental hygiene program of study and she began to lay the foundation of acquiring a new degree in a new field.

Sometimes mediation helps uncover hidden reasons for complaints that are easily repaired.

Get Over It (or ask for a cubicle transfer)

Forgiveness makes everything easier. Whether choosing to forgive a spoon scraper or a co-worker talking behind your back, forgiveness frees up mental space that should be devoted to work. Letting go of an ingrained annoyance may not sound easy, however it can be as simple as getting up to take a breath of fresh air when someone starts talking loudly on the phone or twisting her desk chair. The freedom of forgiveness will help encourage better relationships with your co-workers and create more mental room to innovate and achieve goals together.

Getting along at the office isn’t always easy, but it’s something that differentiates the professionals from everyone else.

Often, people who are in their 20′s and 30′s think that they’ll have a long time before they retire, and putting money away isn’t something they need to do just yet. They may have everyday expenses, or even a family to take care of, and can’t spare any extra money out of their pay to put towards retirement.

Having a 401k with your employer is a great way for you to start saving, even if it’s just a small percentage of your check each week. When you have a 401k the money that gets put away is tax-free. You can choose the percentage you would like them to take out of your pay each week and often, your employer will match that amount. Once you have chosen to save into your 401k you will then have to choose how to invest your money. Investing your money will allow it to grow over time and you’ll be able to save even more towards your retirement, without ever feeling the effects of the money taken out of your check each week.

Another option is to open a savings account. When you have a savings account, you are able to deposit any amount you would like. As the money grows, so does the interest on your account. The total amount of money you have in your savings account will determine the amount of interest you will receive on it. High yielding savings accounts are a great idea if you plan to save for a long time. Their interest rates are higher then a normal savings account which would greatly increase your savings over time.

It’s important that everyone should have a plan for retirement, no matter how young you are. You should sit down and make a list of your expenses and figure out how much you need to survive from month to month to be comfortable. You should also add some extra money to that because all expenses will increase over time. Think about the things that will make you happy, for instance, if you want to buy a new home in the future, a new car, perhaps take a few vacations, etc.

Once you have your plan in place then you should figure out exactly how much money you will need to put away each week to achieve that goal. Don’t figure in the amounts of interest you will gain, because those are never guaranteed. You should think about only the income you have at the moment and how much of it you can spare to put away. You should also be sure to put the money in a place where it isn’t easily accessible, as you may be tempted to dip into it before retirement. This can cause you to lose money as fees are always incurred whenever you withdraw, be it from a savings account, or a 401k.

Another option that a bank offers is a CD. This is where you take a lump sum of money and put it into an account without touching it over a period of time. This could be several months, or several years. During that time, you will gain interest on it.

There are many options to saving towards retirement, but only you can decide just how much you want to save, and just what type of a future you are saving for.

Save The Planet
Motorbikes typically get 30 to over a 100 miles per gallon, while cars struggle to get to 40 and only the smart fortwo gets 70 (if you’re in Canada or Europe, that is; thanks to absurdist regulation, the mileage on a U.S. fortwo is just 36 mpg). In addition, it just takes less stuff to make a motorbike than a car, and the components are still relatively easy to repair rather than replace because the culture of fixing your bike has not yet disappeared – so there’s less stuff going to landfills.

And Money
In addition to paying less for gasoline, you’ll likely save on insurance and parking. Bikes themselves are cheaper to buy that cars. If you don’t believe me, then check out the bikes for sale from MCN and see for yourself.

Always Find Parking
A car takes up the space of three or four motorbikes. You can fit between cars, take that half spot before the cross walk, prop the bike on a lawn or a sidewalk – or ride it into your living room.

Save Time (U.S. Excluded)
In addition to taking less time for parking, a motorbike will allow you to veer through traffic deadlocks. Lane splitting, aka filtering, aka riding between cars, is perfectly legal in the U.K. and Europe when done at reasonable speeds. The U.S. government seems to think that motorcyclists should suffer traffic jams like everyone else, however, unless they’re in California.

Look Rugged
Get rid of your pastiness. Riding a motorbike means you’ll have to deal with the weather, including the bad kind, making you one with nature and giving you that casually cool look of someone who works outdoors, even if you don’t.

Be Healthier
Riding a motorbike engages infinitely more muscles than slouching in a car seat, particularly in your core. In addition, you are far less likely to do other unhealthy things while riding, like smoking, eating fast food, or yapping or texting on the phone while behind the wheel.

Look Cool
Not all bikes are created equal, of course, but straddling that thing still brings to mind every badass that has ever ridden a horse with a sword, spear or six-shooter. And while the gang of Harley owners you see on the weekend is most likely made up of dentist buddies, the legend of Hell’s Angels will make people think twice before messing with you. Even if you’re on a BMW.

10 Steps To Ask For a Promotion at Work

• List all skills that have been gained with the current job position and through recent education that makes you the ideal candidate for the job.

• List all weaknesses that may be an impediment to adequate performance in the new position and write out how the weaknesses can be replaced with strengths.

• When asking for a promotion through e-mail, try to avoid a passive tone. Show confidence and competence for the job.

• Send the e-mail on a less busy day of the week. This varies with each company. However, Mondays are normally the busiest for many companies and Fridays may be relatively relaxed. In the e-mail, propose a date and time when you can discuss the promotion in person. Give at least 72 hours after sending the e-mail to call the boss and ask if the email is delivered. 72 hours is not long enough for the boss to forget the e-mail and not too short for the employer to think you are hungry with the promotion.

• Be direct. Employees shouldn’t expect employers to know they want a promotion. An employee must state clearly that they are available to take the promotion and show how they are the best choice. When asking for a promotion, do not use words such as “think’ or “feel” you are the right choice. Be clear, confident and direct.

• Appeal to the priorities of the boss before asking for a promotion. Know the employer and where the company sits in a variety of issues. For instance, if the employer is concerned about finances, tell them how you can cut costs.

• Be grateful for the opportunities offered in the current position but do not act submissive because this may be a sign of an employee who can’t stand on two feet when faced with a problem or one who can’t work effectively without accolades or supervision.

• Express the desire to hold the position long before the position becomes vacant. However, do not go overboard with the expression because that would make it seem like an obsession.

• Give credit to all who have helped in one’s professional development instead of taking sole credit. View being a part of a winning team as a strong point rather than a weakness.

• Never bad mouth co-workers when asking for a promotion; it is not a competition. However, show competence for the position.

Shares — your flexible friend

The benefit of shares is that if you’re running a highly profitable company, there’s greater chance of people investing it. Better still, they’ll be willing to invest more. This generates more capital for you, the CFO, and the COO to work with.

Shares can also create more solutions in times of corporate or general financial strife. You have more options to help keep the company afloat. You can split shares. You can buy back shares. You can issue more of them.

A special benefit of being a share-issuing company is that your underlying allows you to use other derivatives to benefit your company’s finances. You can grant options or obligations for people to buy your shares or products at more favourable prices (to you). Hedging like this can work to your advantage in international trade, especially with businesses in regions or countries that export lots of oil, like Egypt and the Middle Eastern countries. International banks like HSBC can advise you more on this, if ever you need you consider this option.

Who has the right?

Remember that shares aren’t only financial instruments: they’re a set of rights. You might be the boss, but you won’t have the whole say in the company’s financial affairs. If you sell shares, you grant the holders some influence in certain financial aspects of the business. Common shares give the shareholders the right to vote in shareholder meetings, whereas preference shareholders sit higher on the list of priority creditors if the company runs into difficulties.

The good news is that despite having a dividend policy (if you have one) you don’t always have to pay dividends. The shareholders may vote to reinvest profits back into the company (as mentioned, they have a say).

Forming bonds?

The important thing to remember is that if you issue bonds, you’re placing your company in debt. Not in the red, no, but you’ll have creditors. The thing with corporate bonds, too, is that you’ll have to pay back the loan capital and also a higher rate of interest. If you have a high default risk, you’ll have to pay a higher rate of interest.

Not only that, time is money. You must pay the money back within a specific timeframe. Shares are more flexible… to the point that you may never even have to pay the original capital back.

Bond issues are, however, are a good way to acquire short-term capital. You can acquire long term capital with them, of course, but this isn’t profitable: the longer the term, the more interest you have to pay. You’re in business to make as much money as possible, so these payments aren’t welcome.

When raising capital for the company is on the agenda and the debate boils down to bonds versus shares in the board room, these are the main things to consider. Of course, the other option is to mix the two, preferably obtaining more of this capital from shares. They give you more flexibility— and with flexibility can come more profitable decisions. Ultimately, the choice is yours.

For more information on shares and bonds, you can visit the U.S Securities and Exchange Commission website.

Take the Initiative

Completing tasks that are assigned to you by your superiors is important. But it is also important to show some initiative on the job. If you can think of a better way to perform parts of your job, present an implementation plan to your supervisors. If you can anticipate a problem on an upcoming project and present steps to avoid the problem, your supervisors will start to take notice. Make your boss’s job easier and you will have an easier time getting a raise.

Be Pleasant

Everybody has a bad day once in a while, but as much as possible, be nice to everyone you come in contact with at your job. If you are friendly and outgoing, you will create allies on your job. This will help you earn positive reviews from your supervisors and peers. And you never know if the person working in the cubicle next to you will be promoted to a supervisory position.

Never Pass Up an Opportunity to Learn

Every business goes through changes, some more quickly than others. Each change that your company goes through will give you an opportunity to learn something new. Any learning opportunity will enhance your professional abilities. Always participate in any learning activities offered by your company including conferences, classes, seminars and online classes. Your company may even reimburse you for these learning activities.

Convince Your Boss That You Are Worthy of a Raise

If you wait until it’s time for your yearly review to compile a list of your accomplishment, there’s a good chance that you will forget some of them. Keep a notebook or folder at your desk and note your accomplishments as they happen. If you receive an awards or commendations, place a copy in your folder or notebook. If you publish any articles, keep copies of those handy as well. Then when it comes time for your review, everything will be in one place and you won’t forget anything.

• Assess your risk for capital: Risk is a critical feature in investing. You need to understand how much you can risk in your financial portfolio. If you are averse to risk, don’t invest all of your money because if you lose it all, you don’t have an insurance policy. Once you know what your tolerance for risk is, you can look at the available cash in your account and see how much you want to invest in mutual funds, interest-bearing savings accounts and other products.
• Know what you want to invest in: The types of investments that are available include cash, bonds, art and property. As an investor, you should know what type of investments you want and try for a balanced portfolio. When you allocate cash, choose by what you want to grow in the investment sense. People who believe in real estate should choose properties while investors who like liquidity should stick to cash.
• Always have money saved: Don’t use all of your cash for investing because if the investments don’t work out, you won’t have cash to fall back on and this might lead you to use high interest short term loan services.

Allocating cash for investment should come when you have paid down your debt and you have emergency savings. Start your journey as an investor with these tips.

Document Everything

Though bullying is not a legal issue, it’s still not something that most companies support. The first step to deal with bullying is for the employee to document every instance of it, from the beginning, and to continue doing so. This documentation should include dates, times, witnesses, and detailed descriptions of the bullying incident. The victim of the bullying should take this documentation to their human resources department. However, if there is no HR department, the employee will have to go to the boss themselves.

Talking To The Boss

Sometimes people may be harsh or blunt and may not realize they are doing it. It’s a good idea for the victim of the bullying to first discuss their boss’s behavior with them and how it is making them feel, along with how it’s affecting their productivity at work. There is a small chance that their boss may be reasonable about this, and may make an active effort to change. Having documentation will help give the employee concrete events to point to and not just a general feeling of unease, and it will also give the boss an idea of which types of behavior are upsetting the employee.

Remove Yourself From The Situation

If an employee’s boss proves unreasonable and will not change their ways it puts the employee in a difficult situation. Because bullying is not legally actionable, there’s nothing that obligates the boss from being nicer. Instead, the employee will have to focus on removing themselves from situations that become too emotionally charged. This includes taking breaks when the employee feels like the situation has become too intense to deal with.

Look For Another Job

No one deserves to be mistreated, least of all at work. An employee with a bullying boss should start looking for other work as soon as he or she can. However, there is one thing an employee does need to look out for. An employee should not let on to their boss that they are actively searching for work until they have another job offer in hand. This will avoid a situation in which the boss may retaliate by firing the employee before they can quit.

My company is sending me to a week long work conference which will be held in a large metropolitan city. I have the option of bringing my husband with me. What do you as a boss think about your employees who bring their spouses to work conferences? Is it frowned upon or it does not matter?

Honestly, I personally don’t like when employees bring their spouses to work conferences. I suspect the worst in people. Really. This is why this blog is called What Your Boss Really Thinks But Never Tells You. I thrive to be as honest as humanly possible when I reply to my reader’s questions. So there you have it: I don’t like it when my employees bring their spouses to work conferences. Yet I would never say a word to my employees about this. I would frown to myself in the loneliness of my office when they tell me they are going with a spouse.

People bring their families with them to work conferences all the time because they want to make a mini family vacation out of work trips. It sounds innocent. Sort of. Officially there is nothing wrong with it. Unofficially (and in my humble opinion) it is a little disturbing. To me. As I mentioned above I suspect the worst in people. I always question if an employee will start skipping work sessions at the conference because their spouse does not want to be alone all day. I am going to wonder if an employee is submitting his or hers spouse’s lunch receipts for reimbursement as his/her own.

I would love for my employees to keep their work life separate from their personal life. Will I ever mention any of the above to my employees? No. They can bring their spouses. I cannot control what they do at the conference. Do I like it? No. Will I ever admit to it? No. Remember, this is my personal opinion. Every boss is different.

Want to Ask Your Boss a question? There is a form on the top of the right sidebar. Submit it, and I will write a post in response. Or use my contact form. 

“I have an employee that on several occasions since she started here almost three years ago gets very defensive and combative at times. It seems to happen when I’ve had to speak firmly to her or inform her of something she doesn’t like the answer to. The most recent was when she came in and told me what days she’s taking for vacation (without previously getting the ok, and I also found that she had already booked tickets) I let her know she did not have sufficient vacation to cover the days. Next thing you know, she’s telling me I’m rude, this has happened in the past. She informed me she already booked the tickets and she’s going with no pay regardless. I let her know I was not being rude just giving her the information. She told me I’m supposed to be her friend and I should have asked what she was doing. I told her that I’m her office manager. She then used the f word. This is not the first time this has happened.”

Have you told her how she makes you feel? Have you talked to her in the past that she comes across as a jerk and a huge pain in the ass? I assume you have talked to her (for you own sanity!) about it because if you have not, then you will have to start NOW. No more delays.

I can see a few issues in your situation (to be honest, there is a whole bag of pretty shitty issues here):

1. you are friends with an employee whom you also manage;
2. your employee does not recognize your authority as a manager nor does she respect you as her friend (but the latter is personal, and I will leave it up to you to deal with that);
3. there is a huge insubordination issue;
4. oh, and don’t forget the “f” word. No one, and let me repeat it again, NO ONE, should speak like this to their manager (or anyone really.)

I am sure you have already thought about this: you don’t need a friend like her, AND you don’t need an employee like her either. I am usually not that harsh or mean or evil, but in this situation you need to let her go. However, it is easier said than done.

This is what I recommend or, let’s say, this is what I would do if I were you:

1. I would write down our conversation (the one you described to me.) I love keeping notes because they come in handy when it comes to firing people.
2. I would talk to this woman, and tell her that you do not appreciate her language, her attitude, her conduct and her work ethics. I would then proceed to explain that as her manager I have to write her up for insubordination and disrespect.
3. I would hand her our organization’s policies and procedures regarding scheduling time off. I would calmly tell her that she has not asked for the time off and has not followed the outlined procedures (I would highlight the steps in the procedures for her – people like to see highlighted stuff.) I would advice her to re-visit our policies and procedures.
4. I would lay out my expectations as her manager (also, preferably in writing) and state very clearly what I would like her to change and by when. I would give her a month to correct her behavior if I wanted to keep her working for me, and two weeks if I wanted to replace her.
5. A side note: what is your time off policy? Our policy is that you cannot take unpaid time off. It might be considered grounds for termination. On a personal note: you should not give a shit if she booked a trip and bought tickets already. Her vacation was not approved. It is not your problem. It is on her.
6. I would watch her like a hawk and start writing her up for every mistake she makes. Somehow, I suspect she is not a stellar employee.

Managers do not have to be friends with their employees. In fact, it is better for everyone not to be friends! I was burned a few times myself, and had to cut out a couple of friends because they could not accept me as their manager and a friend.

Remember, you need to assert yourself as a manager. It is not the most pleasant aspect of our work, but what else can we do, right? Sometimes I want to throw a binder into someone’s head. Sometimes I want to swear like a sailor, and splash coffee into someone’s face. But then I remember who I am and what I represent, and things do not look too bad after that. You have the power. Use it!

Want to Ask Your Boss a question? There is a form on the top of the right sidebar. Submit it, and I will write a post in response.